ChI.1.a: Frissa

{February 1974}

"Hello, Patty"

"Huhr naym iss Pafrissa. Pah-Freess-Yuh," Pafrissa, not Patta. not Daddy Pat, baby baby sister Frissa.

I looked at Matt, my step-cousin.  I liked him. He was blonde and skinny and athletic and tall and let me hang out and watch while he raced mini cars. He was nice to me.

"She looks just like Uncle Pat," he said.

NOT Pat. Pafrissa, Pafrissa, she looks like mommy, her name is Pafrissa. Look at mommy's baby picture. Pafrissa, not Pat.
{/memory}

I never did call her Patty, not once.

That's what her cousins called her. It's also what her friends called her, so I guess that means that is what she called herself, even though that didn't occur to me until now, when I typed it. I've always called her Trish. It was close to Tess, and that was my Irish Great-grandmother, and that's who I wanted her to be - a little Tess, not a little Pat.

Too bad I didn't figure out what she was calling herself sooner. To me, she will always be Frissa because I want her to release herself from her father. Lose all he taught her, unbecome the parts of him she actualized. I want to untangle her from the fears and phobias of my step-family, undo her exposure to casual criminals, cause her to see how she was treated differently by him because she was OF him.

Please read the Intro

Introduction

This online project may contain foul language, nudity or implied nudity, graphic descriptions of sexual behavior, honest descriptions of experiences with mind-altering substances, and a general fuck off attitude. Since you've been warned, any complaints will either be ignored or ridiculed. Please read everything with a sense of humor in mind, as I don't take myself, or others, all that seriously, and that my tongue is always firmly planted in my cheek.

There are two types of entries - there are posts that document my current life, and projects, and obsessions, and inspirations.

Other are posts are parts of an online novel, mostly based on actual events and real people. However, I will, on occasion, alter content in order to protect the privacy of others. Sometimes I might mush people or events together, sometimes I might split a person into several people. In any case, what I try to stay true to are the mood, motive, ethic, vibe.

I do not claim to be unbiased, but I do try to be fair.

I encourage comments and questions and conversations.